Platonic love

A Platonic relationship, as the term is understood today, is one in which the couple are extremely fond of each other, and might even be said to be in love, but who do not express that fondness or love in physical terms.

Do you know the old song by Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields that begins: “A fine romance with no kisses / A fine romance, my friend, this is”? That sounds like a passable description of Platonic love.

But what has it got to do with Plato?

There is a sense in which one should maybe refer to it as a Socratic relationship rather than a Platonic one, because the concept is based on a story about Socrates. Plato, who lived in the 4^th century BC, was a pupil of Socrates, and he presented much of his philosophy through the mouth of Socrates, so it is not always clear whether Plato is being original in his thinking or is merely passing on the philosophy of his master.

Plato’s works are mainly in the form of dialogues, in which Socrates is one of the speakers. One of these dialogues was entitled The Symposium, the setting for which was a dinner party in Athens at which a number of the leading lights of the city-state were present. Whether this was a real event or merely a fictional one is immaterial – the important thing is that it provided a vehicle for Socrates to converse with the political and social cream of Athens society. They are, naturally enough for the times, all men.

As the dinner progresses, and the wine flows, inhibitions become relaxed and the conversation turns to a discussion of the true nature of love. It must also be remembered that in ancient Greek society physical love between men was seen as being just as valid as love between men and women. Indeed, many ancient Greeks regarded gay love as being on a higher plane than heterosexual love.

According to Plato, Socrates was not physically attractive. He had a coarse and unkempt appearance and his personal hygiene was not of the best. In short, he looked ugly and smelt horrible! However, at the dinner this did not stop one of the other guests, Alcibiades, from making a play for Socrates. Alcibiades was the complete opposite of Socrates in that he was handsome, fragrant, and renowned for being a great lover, although his mental powers were way below those of Socrates. He recognised that Socrates possessed great wisdom and that was what attracted him to the philosopher.

The reaction of Socrates was to declare that there was a higher love that went beyond the merely physical.  This was a pure love that was based on spiritual beauty. There could be philosophical passion that was not expressed in sexual terms, and this would always be superior.

Hence Platonic love, as originally envisaged, was the sort of love that the true philosopher should aim to achieve, whatever the gender of the other party. Today, Platonic love is regarded as being of lower quality than “the real thing”, but that was not how Plato saw it.

© John Welford